Helping Your Kids Thrive During Remote Learning

 Attending school remotely has its challenges and its benefits.  Perhaps your child is well-adjusted to learning from home and enjoys the freedom it provides.  Maybe your child is the opposite – struggling to learn and frustrated by what he or she misses most about being in school.

Your role as a parent is to make learning from home an effective and enjoyable experience.  There is more in your control than you may realize to help your child flourish during remote learning.

In an article posted by Cleveland Clinic, Emily Mudd, PhD, child psychologist, is a strong believer in having a schedule for virtual learning days.  That schedule should resemble the flow of activities at school.  It is helpful to include consistent mealtimes and breaks/recess.  According to Dr. Mudd, “children thrive on structure and predictability.”  When children know what the day’s routine entails and understand what is expected of them, they have the tools for success. 

Having structure and routine will have your child headed in the right direction, but the struggles of learning from home – the difficulty of learning through a computer screen versus in-person and the lack of socializing with friends – can make it tough for your child to stay motivated.

 While the ideal goal is for your child to have an intrinsic drive to work hard, sometimes offering extrinsic rewards is what your child needs, at least initially, to continue pushing forward and to build confidence.  The incentive does not have to cost anything, nor should it always be material items.  It can be something such as allowing your child to have extra leisure time or having him or her choose the game that your family plays on game night.  Having something fun to anticipate can be the driving force for your child to increase the effort put into virtual learning.

Everyone wants to feel acknowledged and recognized, especially when working on something challenging.  When your child is having a tough day with remote learning, Dr. Mudd suggests acknowledging how your child feels.  Tell him or her that you understand that taking classes from home is frustrating.  Saying that you realize the content is difficult to understand and that it must be tough not being around friends can make a big difference in your child’s thoughts about school.  Those comments can make your child realize that his or her feelings are valid, and that acknowledgement can lift your child’s spirits.

When acknowledging your child’s frustrations, be sure to mention that what matters most is genuine effort.  Even if your child does not appear to be struggling – academically or emotionally – the encouragement that comes from simply saying “I’m proud of you for trying your best” can do wonders to boost motivation.   

Along with motivation comes the benefits that learning from home offers that a traditional classroom does not provide.  At-home schooling provides flexibility in how, where, and when your child learns.  For example, if your child prefers to work while sitting on the floor rather than at a table, give it a shot.  If your child stays on-task, let the arrangement continue.  That flexible seating arrangement can be a motivating factor to keep your child dedicated to school.

Be cautious though, as the line between lounging around versus focusing on classwork can be easily blurred when attending classes from home.  Dedicating a space for attending school virtually will help your child get into the “it’s time for class” mindset, whether that means sitting at the dinning room table or sprawling out on the living room floor.

Part of the flexibility mentioned earlier involves independent study time, which is sometimes offered in middle school grades onward.  If independent study time is an option, take advantage of it to determine what time of day your child learns best and is most focused.  Having a flexible schedule can offer additional opportunities for your child to earn much-needed downtime. 

 The excessive amount of screen-time due to online learning can take a toll on your child, both physically and mentally.  If he or she asks to have some downtime before transitioning into homework, allow it.  Time to recharge is beneficial, considering that your child’s academics are not being jeopardized.  Dr. Mudd says, “If children have a say in what they’re doing or when they’re doing it, it helps create intrinsic motivation.”  Especially as your child enters the pre-teen years, he or she will likely be in tune with what is needed to thrive.  Being open to your child’s suggestions can lead to personal and academic growth.   

While adjusting to the nuances of remote schooling, Caroline Knorr, parenting editor at Common Sense Media, recommends putting a focus on learning rather than on academic achievements.  Knorr says, that as parents, “your goal is to support them [your children] in making progress in their own goals and aspirations.”  Your child’s overall growth and well-being matters more than his or her grades in school.  While this should always be the perspective, it is even more important than ever when learning remotely. 

This emphasis on well-being can be supported by checking in with your child each day.  Taking a few minutes to ask questions about his or her day will keep your child motivated.  You can ask questions directly related to school (How is it going with those new algebra formulas?) or general ones (How are you feeling today?).

Asking these questions at different points throughout the day can help you identify patterns.  For example, perhaps in the morning your child responds in a deflated tone, hinting at a lack of motivation.  As the day goes on, maybe you notice the increased focus and the development of a positive attitude.  Having this insight can allow you to provide your child with the emotional support needed for success.

One part of emotional support that Knorr recommends is positive reinforcement.  Positive reinforcement is about acknowledging admirable behaviors, effort, and personal growth over scoring well on an assignment.  An example would be “You were very focused while making corrections to your essay.  I am very proud of the effort you are putting into improving your writing.”  Recognizing your child’s hard work can motivate him or her to continue with an effective work ethic. 

Another motivating factor is having a system in place for accountability.  A fun method for accountability that Knorr suggests is having your child’s best friend as an accountability buddy.  The friends can check in with one another over the phone or while socially distancing in-person to chat about each day’s lessons and to remind one another of their assignments.  Your child and his or her friend will serve as emotional support for one another when having a tough day with virtual learning.

Attending school remotely might never be easy or be the preferred method.  Being compassionate of your child’s feelings and finding ways to stay motivated will make the most of a not-so-ideal situation.  Using trial and error will find what works best for your child to have a positive experience learning from home.

Remember, some days remote learning will feel impossible while other days will feel effortless.  What matters most is your child’s well-being.  As long as he or she is putting in genuine effort to complete assignments, learning is happening. 

References:

Cleveland Clinic. “How Can I Keep My Kids Motivated And On-Task While They’re Distance Learning?”. 2020. Retrieved 13 January 2022. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-can-i-keep-my-kids-motivated-and-on-task-while-theyre-distance-learning

Common Sense Media. “Keeping Kids Motivated for Online Learning.” 2021. Retrieved 13 January 2022. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/keeping-kids-motivated-for-online-learning